In case you weren't WASPy enough to attend what is sure to be the social event of the year a party where a bunch of 18-year-old girls in white dresses parade around while their overbearing mothers get sloshed on white wine, the Times will have the pleasure of introducing you to attendees of Wednesday's International Debutante Ball. One of the girls who will be "introduced" to society is Hadley Marie Nagel, whom the Times describes as the "most swell." But don't worry! She still knows how to rough it with us plebeians. She says of being a debutante, “I mean, you still have to pay for your coffee at Starbucks." And here we thought that all descendants of the founding fathers got a free-coffee-for-life coupon.

Somewhere between the mention of Nagel's high school AP scores and her love of James Madison we began to wonder just how much the Times got paid to write up this fluffy profile. Not that Nagel's accomplishments are anything to sneeze at—she is working to get Madison a national monument and is the youngest registered lobbyist on Capitol Hill—but it's pretty unbelievable that in a piece called "Titans in Party Dresses" they couldn't find the time to mention one of the 29 other debutantes. Perhaps the other girls should try smoking salvia if they want to make the cutting-edge Times Style section.