Williamsburg's condo boom went bust during the Great Recession, but now that high-income New Yorkers have gotten back on their feet, the condos are a-rockin' again. And the neighborhood is being flooded with a new breed of hipster... breeders. Not that the two cliches are mutually exclusive; just check out the crowd at a They Might Be Giants kids' show (half of the band, John Flansburgh, is also a Williamsburgher). The NY Times loves a good trend (especially in Brooklyn), and a new article headlined "Williamsburg, Toddlertown," explains what happens when a man and a woman love each other very much and make a baby in a Brooklyn neighborhood THAT IS NOT PARK SLOPE. How is that even possible?! You could read it all yourself, but maybe it's a little too early on a Friday to throw up in your mouth. Not for us; here are our four favorite regurgitated parts:
- Daniel Lamblin and Jenni Sohn moved from the LES to Williamsburg. The Times reports: "With a daughter on the way, they wanted more space, more light, a decent kitchen and fewer toxic fumes." FANCY!
- Another cougar-ish condo dweller likes how she doesn't have to sacrifice her swinging lifestyle for her toddler Nate. "You can go out in the neighborhood on a Friday night and feel sexy and single-ish," she says. "And then wake up next morning with the kid and take him to the farmers’ market and the play center." But who takes care of the baby while she's out with the boy toy?
- Eve and Rich Kessner left the West Village for Park Slope with their daughter, Avi, last March, but they were much too cool for those procreating Poindexters. "It felt really suburban to me,” says Kessner, a jewelry designer and blogger. "Park Slope has puppets and guitar strumming for kids. In Williamsburg, it is like rock ’n’ roll for kids."
- Michael Moshan, who lives in The Edge, almost harshed some revelers' vibe one night when he saw his neighbors hanging outside drinking and smoking. "I’m staring at them," he tells the Times, "thinking how can I get them to stop? Then I think, what the hell happened to me? Am I that guy that wants the kids to get off his lawn?"
They all seem like such cool parents, the kind who are hip enough sneer at the Park Slope poseur infants in their so-over CBGB onesies and who put their kids to bed by reading alienating Chris Ware comics. And yet, this Times article leaves us wanting more—shouldn't there be something in here about how they all have their own vegan wet nurses who are only allowed to eat organic food from the rooftop garden?