Tired of having to drag around those little, sticky miracles of life you and your spouse created one drunken evening everywhere you go? Well, rest easy parents, because at the New Meadowlands stadium, your children will be safe wandering the throngs of sloshed football fans when they're wearing a high-tech bracelet. Starting during the regular season, parents will be able to get their kids equipped with a tracking bracelet so they can easily find them after they've wandered into a stranger's van. New Meadowlands Stadium Corp. CEO Mark Lamping told the Post, "Let's hope it doesn't become a day-care service."

Jets and Giants fans at the stadium's first NFL game last night found all sorts of goodies to distract them from their progeny. The $1.7 billion stadium is equipped with 2,100 HD screens and lots of concourse space, and fans lucky enough to sit in one of the 200 luxury boxes will be able to order food from TV screens in the suites. Unfortunately, those who can't afford the boxes say the concessions are too expensive. One Bronx fan told the Daily News, "Five dollars is too much for a small soda," though his pal admitted to having a decent pork sandwich for $9.

Overall, the reviews have been favorable, even if Jets fans were sent home last night with nothing to comfort them but the episode of Hard Knocks left on their TiVos. One Jets fan called it "the Roman Colosseum," and said, "I'm glad there is no roof on it. We want Peyton Manning here in the playoffs. Let him play in the wind and the cold." Though if his little brother can do it, we're guessing he'll have no problems. And if the new, industrial design put some fans off, they've warmed up to the stadium by now. One said, "I had buyer's remorse when I bought my seats, but now that I'm here, I have no more buyer's remorse. It's a great stadium."