It's no secret that Montauk has devolved into a hellscape of drunk, loud, fornicating bros this summer. But it seems that the only thing worse than being in Montauk on a summer weekend is getting to Montauk on a summer weekend, between car traffic, bus traffic, train traffic, and the trials and tribulations of chartering one's own private helicopter. Now, the Long Island Railroad hopes to ease the pain of at least one method of commuting—they're policing oversized luggage on the Cannonball train to Montauk.
LIRR officials say oversized luggage has contributed to unbearable crowding on the Cannonball, the express train to Montauk that runs out of Penn Station on Friday nights. Already, officials say there are way too many people onboard the weekly 4:06 p.m. ride, with an average of 1,395 passengers crammed onto the 1,260-seat train. Indeed, the afternoon Cannonball crush makes the Union Square 4/5/6 rush hour platform look roomy:
So, the LIRR now requests that oversized luggage stay off the train, with remaining baggage stored under seats and in overhead compartments. “If our customers leave oversized items at home, more of them will be able to enjoy a ride to the Hamptons in under two hours,” LIRR president, Patrick A. Nowakowski, said in a statement this week. “We need everyone’s cooperation to make this work.”
After all, how many man tanks ("manks") and Reef flipflops does one even need for a single weekend?