Who cares about passing a boring old budget, when the wild NYC nightlife desperately needs policing? A recently-passed bill en route to Governor Paterson's desk would enable the State Liquor Authority to shut down nightspots if police are called six times within 60 days for excessive noise and disorderly conduct. The Villager reports that the bill's main sponsor is Democratic Senator Daniel Squadron, who represents Lower Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn, and who used to own a bar himself, called What Bar on the Upper West Side. But now this self-hating ex-bar owner is working overtime for the Shush Police, just as Steve Lewis predicted.

On the other hand, if you live above a bar that's been depriving you of sleep, you're probably looking forward to making six simple phone calls and shutting the place down for good. However, Susan Stetzer, district manager of Community Board 3 (which covers the East Village and Lower East Side) insists that the complaints would have to be determined legitimate by the NYPD. "There are some bars [in the Lower East Side] that have constant problems, but I think it would be extremely unusual [to have six incidents in 60 days]," she tells the Villager. "There are very few bars that would reach this level."

Try telling that to cocktail lounge/restaurant Death & Co. on East 5th Street, which was very nearly shut down because of one determined, complaining neighbor—despite the fact that it's one of the quietest bars in the neighborhood by far. Still, some scolds think the new law wouldn't go far enough. "I would have preferred 90 days instead of two months," says Karen Stamm, a member of the Tribeca Committee of Community Board 1. "I hope it’s not just being done for appearance’s sake. The SLA doesn’t really react with a stiffened spine." Well, yeah, you have to pay extrafor spine!