For years, members of the Westboro Baptist Church have made a living out of being hate-filled dicknoses who get their kicks from protesting military funerals and singing Ozzy Osbourne songs a capella. But even though it's not one of the ten commandments, they have always had free speech laws on their side: this year, the Supreme Court upheld their right to protest and picket military funerals with signs like "God Hates Fags" and "You're Going to Hell." But a group of Senators is now responding to that decision with a new bill which would protect military funerals from disruption by any outside groups.
Sen. Kristen Gillibrand and a large bipartisan coalition of Senators introduced the new measure, the Sanctity of Eternal Rest for Veterans Act, or the SERVE Act. It would mandate two hours of quiet time before and after funerals, and set a 300-foot buffer zone around the funerals and a 500-foot buffer around routes to and from the memorials. It sets fines ranging from $25,000 to $50,000, and jail sentences of up to two years.
“Our men and women in uniform bravely put everything on the line for our country. It is our duty to provide service members and their families with the support they need while deployed overseas and after they have returned home. This common sense legislation will ensure our heroes are buried with the honor and dignity they deserve," said Gillibrand. Maybe they can add a clause where the Westboro members are taken to the new church and baptized with salt: