Last week MySpace honcho Mike Jones finally admitted the site "is not a social network anymore." Indeed, it is a garish Internet backwater strewn with tumbleweeds and isolated, eccentric holdouts like Patton Oswalt. Now comes news that MySpace is holding a joint press conference at 3 p.m today with its far superior rival Facebook. Insiders speculate that MySpace, which lost $156 million last quarter, will announce it will launch a Facebook Connect button across its site, letting people use their Facebook accounts to access MySpace. MySpace will also read a prepared statement apologizing to the world for being a worthless turd of a website that isn't fit to lick the bottom of Mark Zuckerberg's flip-flops. Facebook executives are expected to silently sit there looking smug.