112408ham.jpgIf you've been following along with the allegations of sexual harassment and general depravity at The Box—the nightclub where guests pay over $1,000 so that performers like transvestite Miss Rose Wood can pull a Jameson's bottle out of his ass, take a swig and then spit on them—you may be interested in NY Mag's lengthy profile on owner Simon Hammerstein, "The Impresario of Smut." He strongly denies the most scandalous accusations, but unnamed sources say auditions for Simon sometimes climax back at his apartment. Miss Rose Wood has perhaps the best Hammerstein horror story: "Then Simon said to me, ‘So, can you pull a string of Christmas lights out of your ass?’ I said to him, ‘Well, you know, I’m Jewish. And so before the Christmas lights come out, I’ve got to dislodge the menorah.’" That's professionalism, people!