An ongoing "upscale" swingers sex party was shut down at the Mondrian SoHo hotel this weekend after security guards got wind that this wasn't just a normal photoshoot. Or as the party organizers claim, because they wanted some publicity: "The hotel security wanted to gain access because we had a famous celebrity show up and they thought it would be a great chance to expose that information," Jasmine from The School of Sex told the MailOnline. Jeez, don't these people know it's too hot outside to imagine lumpy human bodies writhing all over each other in pursuit of anonymous sexual bliss? And yet, here we are.

"Some of the guests actually saw the hotel security try to snap pictures of our guests paparazzi style when people were exiting," Jasmine added. The “SiN White Party” was thrown by Behind Closed Doors and School of Sex. You can watch some testimonials about the parties from porn stars, including Nina Hartley and Justine Joli.

One event organizer, who would be identified only as Rocco, summarized what happened to the Post:

"We host sex parties for a very upscale and young crowd. This event was a mixer. But the hotel security insisted on policing the event. We value the privacy of our guests and shut the event down immediately.” He confirmed one couple, clad in underwear, had carried on enjoying themselves on the terrace, but “they eventually agreed to leave after being repeatedly asked to do so.”

A Mondrian SoHo spokesman confirmed the party was shut down, and one of their security guards denied that any pictures had been taken. A hotel source told the Post that the organizers had falsely booked the event as a "photo shoot/documentary." There were music and noise issues, and hotel security wasn't allowed in to investigate: "But hotel staff noticed the ‘guests’ were in various different stages of undress and positions, so they were removed from the hotel. The swingers then tried to carry on the party in two other rooms they had booked for hair and makeup, and were completely removed from the hotel.”

Jasmine told MailOnline the party was a photoshoot...just not ONLY a photoshoot: "The hotel signed a contract with us that the event would include but was not limited to a photoshoot. We actually had a photoshoot with a famous NY photographer who wanted to highlight some of our sexiest female members in lingerie." At the end of the day, there's at least one thing both sides can agree on: thank God this sex party had nothing to do with squids having sex parties in our mouths.