Since 2/3 express trains were running with delays of at least 10-15 minutes around 9:30 this morning, a scrum of people attempted to jam themselves onto the 1 train all at the same time at 96th Street, cramming in beyond capacity. I found myself situated between two women, one of whom apparently punched the other as she pushed her way on board. I learned this because the victim yelled at her that "we live in a society" and "everyone is uncomfortable, deal with it" and "you assaulted me, how would you like it if I assaulted you?" while the other woman rolled her eyes and goaded her on. I spent the next several stops in fear that the tension would boil over and I'd end up collateral damage in a viral subway fight.

In other words, I had it pretty damn good compared to everyone else's commute today. Happy Monday!

According to the MTA, there were multiple delays on the J and M lines because a train with mechanical problems had to be removed from service. Also, the E, F, M, and R trains were running with extensive delays after someone was in need of medical assistance at Lexington Av-53 St. station (or perhaps there were multiple sick passengers?). And also, the 2/3 trains which caused me to get stuck inside the Terrordome Train were delayed because of a stalled train that was later removed.

My colleague Jake Offenhartz was one of those commuters whose work week started out on a bum note due to delays: "After idling for about 10 minutes in between stations, the conductor emptied our packed M train at Hewes Street, citing a 'medical situation' up ahead," Offenhartz said in a statement. "A more cynical rider might curse the Monday morning inconvenience, wondering how such a narrow platform could possibly be expected to hold hundreds of thousands of displaced riders in just a few months, or why 'major incidents' have continued to climb despite assurances that the system has stabilized. Not me though. I used my unexpected evacuation to take in the cool Monday morning air, while meditating on the challenges and opportunities in the week ahead. Thanks MTA -- you’ve broken me!!"

This is the MTA equivalent of "sorry, I'm sorry, I'm trying to remove it:"

The MTA advises that everything will work out eventually, because time only flows in one direction, and you can only have so many delays before you cease to exist. I particularly identify with this man's face:

Did your commute this morning make you want to rip your skin off? This guy gets it: