Mitt Romney is finally settling into his role as an Audi-driving hedonist, as the former presidential candidate and his wife watched a bloodsport exhibition last night in a den of alcohol, caffeine, games of chance, and non-dynasty producing coitus.
According to the AP, Romney met Manny Pacquiao before his bout with Juan Manuel Márquez, and told him, "Hello Manny. I ran for president. I lost." Pacquiao would later lose in the sixth round by TKO after Márquez leveled a devastating blow to the face. If Romney is still unsure about what to do with his life and legacy, we'd like to point out that a career as a professional cooler is not only exciting, but extremely lucrative.