This morning the good people at FOX News opened up their fridge, peeked into the back right corner, and found some leftover Bitterness to toss into the microwave and serve piping hot to their silver-jowled audience who has been ravenous for justice since November 6, 2012. Chris Wallace spoke at length with Mitt and Ann Romney, and gee, life has just been terrific since then—it's just too bad that the country is completely fucked. "It kills me not to be there, not to be in the White House doing what needs to be done," Mitt says of the current sequestration crisis. "This is America we're talking about, at a critical time. And—and, you know, Nero is fiddling."

Speaking of would-be plutocrats being completely oblivious to reality, Wallace asked the couple when they realized that they had lost the White House

MITT ROMNEY: It was a slow recognition, until ultimately, when the Ohio numbers began coming in and they were disappointing. I said, look, this looks like we have lost. Wasn't certain. Some people said, oh, look, if this number here comes in, you could win, but, you know, by 8:00 or 9:00, it was pretty clear that we were not going to win. And—

WALLACE: And what was that moment like?

MITT ROMNEY: Well, it's hard. It's emotional. I mean, there was such passion in the people who were helping us, I just felt, you know, we have really let them down.

ANN ROMNEY: It was a crushing disappointment. Not for us. Our lives are going to be fine. It's for the country.

Indeed, don't cry for the Romneys. They do plenty of that themselves, but all of those tears were shed for you.

WALLACE: Is it true you began to cry?

ANN ROMNEY: I did, of course. Yes. Very disappointed.

WALLACE: Cry for what?

ANN ROMNEY: Cry—it's not—again, is not sorrow for, oh, my gosh, you know, our lives are, you know, this dream—the dream was to make a difference. The dream was to serve.

WALLACE: So let me ask you about the months from November until now, were there tears?

ANN ROMNEY: Oh, for me, yes. I cried. When you pour that much of your life and energy and passion into something and you're disappointed by the outcome, it's very—it's sad. It's very hard.

Mrs. Romney added with laughter, "I'm happy to blame the media" for her husband's loss. That would be the same media that endlessly played the clip of Romney writing off half of the country.

MITT ROMNEY: Yes, it was a very unfortunate statement that I made. It's not what I meant. I didn't express myself as I wished I would have.

You know, when you speak in private, you don't spend as much time thinking about how something could be twisted and distorted and—and it could come out wrong and be used.

But, you know, I did. And it was very harmful. What I said is not what I believe. Obviously, my whole campaign—my whole life has been devoted to helping people, all of the people. I care about all the people of the country.

If you revel in pointless hypotheticals from sad men and would like to know more about what Romney would do if he were in the White House, you can check out the transcript of the interview.