Just as blood diamonds are tainted with the stain of human misery so too are the frozen, rainbow-sprinkled treats of woe prepared with jealous eyes and weary hands. Police say the crew of a Mister Softee truck and the commander of a Yogo NY Frozen Yogurt truck engaged in a protracted skirmish deep in the heart of Midtown yesterday, ending with a Softee crew member brandishing a knife and the Yogo driver dispensing his own special topping: knuckles.

An NYPD spokesman said that around 4:30 p.m. the two men in the Mister Softee truck approached the Yogo Truck around East 48th Street and Fifth Avenue; one of the Softee corsairs then allegedly ripped off the vendor's license affixed to the Yogo truck, and fled the scene in his Softee vessel.

A few hours later, police say the Yogo truck driver was heading back to his garage when he observed the Mister Softee truck in the vicinity of 48th and Fifth—the very same Mister Softee truck that had defiled his vendor's license. Lo, a dispute ensued, and in the course of their heated discussion of the nuances of Dessert Admiralty Law, the NYPD spokesman said one of the individuals in the Mister Softee truck pulled out a knife.

Officers arrived at the scene a short time later, but despite the police presence, the men fought on. The Yogo truck driver then allegedly punched one of the Mister Softee vendors in the face.

The driver of the Yogo truck was issued a desk appearance ticket for misdemeanor assault. He's due in court in late September.

Erik Morel, 23, the alleged knife-brandisher and license-ripper, is charged with auto stripping, criminal mischief, and petty larceny.

So go ahead, splurge on that raspberry topping. Just stare into the syrupy, crimson abyss and remember what you're really paying for.