The New York Times' editorial board has some strong words for Staten Island's Republican Congressman Michael Grimm, noting his "poor judgement" and calling for an investigation into reports that he strong-armed illegal donations. But at an event on Saturday, Grimm turned the serious allegations into a joke about his dog, Sebastian, biting the mailman for carrying the Times. Former Staten Island Beep and Congressman Guy Molinari exercised his old-man impunity: "I was going to take a copy of The New York Times and ignite it, but Sebastian beat me to it; he shit all over the paper…Friends, don't ever give up your principles, and don't let these shit-ass newspapers tell you what to do."

According to a report from Capital New York, the vibe at the event was defiant, with State Senator Andrew Lanza calling Grimm "beloved" and warning those in attendance to beware of words in papers and blogs "because they usually come from cowards." This is because heros get their news from television.

Grimm himself said the Times' pieces have emboldened his constituency. "Never before have I had such an outpouring of support. So, as sad as it is, or as ridiculous as it may sound, the Times may be helping me," Grimm said. We're anxiously awaiting the sale of the Grimm campaign's new adult diapers that read, "Proud, Shit-Ass Republican."