It's safe to assume that the greatest line cut comeuppance in the history of civilization took place at Coulson's News Center in Albany last Friday, when an unidentified jerk weaseled ahead of winner Mike Barth and bought a lottery ticket. Barth was reaching for a candy bar when the inconsiderate P.O.S. reached over his shoulder to cut the line and bought the next lottery ticket. "I thought about saying something but decided to just let it slide," Barth tells the NY Post. "I bought the next ticket—the winning ticket!" The jackpot was worth $319 million, which Barth will share with six coworkers at the state Division of Housing and Community Renewal. The bastard who cut the line gets an all-too-rare serving of JUSTICE.

The winners were identified at a press conference in Schenectady this morning; each winner will get $28.9 million before taxes, or $19.1 million, after taxes. The odds were one-in-176-million. According to the Post, the winners didn't show up for work Monday and have no intention to returning to work, but it's unclear if their absence will have any noticeable impact on state bureaucracy.

Still, this must really burn for their unlucky co-workers left behind. One unidentified employee reportedly opted out of the lottery pool that fateful day, telling the others he "didn't feel lucky." A woman who knows the winners says, "They asked him twice. They said, 'Are you sure?' and he said yeah, he was going to pass this time. I feel horrible for him." Oh well, we're sure this won't haunt him every waking moment for the rest of his life or anything. Back to work, slave!