Yesterday afternoon the McCarren Park pool was shut down for a half hour over a fecal matter. But questions linger, like unwanted side-effects of an all-you-can-eat Buffalo wings buffet, as to the exact nature of what went down (or, ahem, didn't). The NYC Parks Department's press office refuses to comment to Gothamist on the incident, but a spokeswoman did speak to DNAinfo, first referring to it as "a toilet accident." That article has since been edited to read "a child had a diaper accident." But one of New York's Finest begs to differ.

To make the game of poop pool Rashomon even more confusing, a "log-spying" cop assigned to patrol the place tells the Daily News, "That was no baby diaper. It was a big piece of shit!" So was a child actually allowed in the pool wearing a diaper that came loose, or did someone simply drop their kids off at the pool? And not a single pool-goer has posted photos or video on the Internet? The lack of social media documentation of this incident is making us wonder if it even really happened. We smell a cover up... or something.