Notorious Pharma bro Martin Shkreli is currently incarcerated at Brooklyn's Metropolitan Detention Center, having had his $5 million bail revoked after he tried to buy one of Hillary Clinton's hairs for $5,000. At the time, the Post declared that Shkreli, who was convicted of securities fraud in August, would experience "the worst prison that he’ll ever be in," but it seems there can be no worse prison than Shkreli's soul, and he insists real jail is just fine.
Though there was speculation Shkreli would struggle until he could do time in a more luxurious white-collar prison, the Post got hold of a letter Shkreli wrote to alleged friend Lisa Whisnant, in which he purported that "[t]hings are not THAT awful" in MDC, though his roommate does snore. "There are some bright sides," he wrote. "I am teaching these prisoners some new things and hopefully some ways to change their lives."
Hopefully all he's really taught his fellow inmates thus far is that he's a huge douche, but regardless, he seems to be settling in nicely, playing basketball and reading self-help books in an effort to pass the time.
Not that everything is wonderful: "He says he has a small uncomfortable bed, and his sleep quality is very low," Whisnant told the tabloid. We weep for you, Shkreli.