110608stok.jpgThe Dow and the S&P 500 both closed down about 5% today in a day of heavy losses. The Dow was down 443 points and closed below 9,000 amidst fears of a prolonged recession that even superhero President-elect Obama may be not be able to turn around. "Everything is so dismal right now, it's just an endless flow of bad news and no one wants to buy," despaired equity trader Dave Rovelli, who could really benefit by reading today's heartwarming good news about the Starbucks wedding proposal! CNN reports that investors are fearful about tomorrow's big monthly jobs report. Also, too, October retail sales from the chain stores were mostly "abysmal," the housing market is still collapsing, and even the recent dip in gas prices has not improved consumer spending. "People are realizing that the recession is going to drag on until at least the end of 2009," Rovelli whines. LA LA LA LA Can't hear you, Rovelli! Starbucks wedding proposal! Doggie costumes! Sasha and Malia get a puppy!