It's not a secret that some New Yorkers have more sex than others—your neighbors, as you know, have not come up for air since Labor Day. But what we didn't know until today is that entire neighborhoods have more sex than others. The Date Report collected information from the 2012 NYC Community Health Survey to create this visually stimulating map—the red areas contain the most people who have enjoyed coitus with three or more people in the last year. The light pink areas are home to residents who spend every night in footie pajamas curled around a bottle of grappa, not that we know anything about that.

It's hard to glean a particular pattern from the data—The Rockaways are doing just fine, thank you very much, and so is East Harlem, northeast Bronx, Washington Heights, Flushing and Staten Island, the northern edge in particular. Bay Ridge, Forest Hills, Little Neck, East New York and Pelham—it's not you. It's them.

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Via The Date Report

The data, however, isn't totally fair—it neglects individuals who have been having constant sex with one or two people. Three random hookups over a 12-month period does not an enviable sex life make—a more apt title for the map would actually be "most promiscuous neighborhoods." So there.

Will merely visiting these neighborhoods make you a beacon for more sex, or is proof of residency required, like getting a library card? Why does Manhattan's east side have so much more sex than the west side? Are Brooklyn's low numbers really because Brooklyn women are so damn stingy with their approving Tinder swipes? The data is yours to analyze in your footie pajamas.