It's an American tale that never gets old: man makes bad decision. Man suffers consequences of said decision. Man sues. In this latest telling, a 48-year-old BMW salesman from Westchester is suing Bumblebee tuna and his local Stop & Shop for his 10 can a week tuna habit, saying it left him with mercury poisoning. "There was tuna in my diet every day, just about," Lee Porrazzo told the Post. "I thought it was the cleanest source of protein." Hopefully he wasn't planning on doing theater any time soon.

It's unclear whether he was eating the solid albacore or the chunk light variety, but EPA and FDA data say anyone over 150 pounds should at most be eating one can of albacore every nine days or one can of chunk light every three days. Porrazzo said he and his roommate stocked up on the stuff because it was "usually on sale," and commercials advertised it as heart healthy. His suit claims that after two years of his tuna diet, his blood mercury levels were 23 micrograms per liter, twice the normal amount. He said he's had to stop working out and has lost over 30 pounds.

Bumblebee's website says "canned albacore tuna averaged about a third of the maximum safe level set by the FDA," and told the Post that there has "never been a case of mercury toxicity from eating commercial seafood in the US." Stop & Shop didn't comment, because really, it's not like booze hounds can sue liquor stores after getting alcohol poisoning (yet).