The Brooklyn Paper's Police Blotter is always interesting, but there's this standout (or sitdown) item from the Brooklyn Heights-area roundup: "A nutjob stole a lawyer’s toilet and threatened to kill him on Valentine’s Day."

"The victim told cops that a man broke his window at around 5:35 am, then entered his apartment, near Fourth Avenue. Instead of swiping the the normal goodies, the quirky crook grabbed a white toilet and headed down the block, schlepping the heavy porcelain god." Apparently the man, who was eventually arrested, returned and told the victim, "I’m going to slit your throat." It's unclear if the toilet was recovered.