Sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much, they become physically intimate and express their passion vocally. And sometimes children can mistake mommy's cries of pleasure for howling anguish, and rush to her aide. Such was the awkward and violent scenario that erupted on June 6th when a 16-year-old Connecticut girl heard screams coming from her mother's bedroom and thought she was being murdered. So she called her friends, who burst into the bedroom and beat 25-year-old Roger Swanson with their fists and a bat. (He was hospitalized with a black eye and several bruises.) The girl's mother, Melanie Arnold, 34, denies screaming and says her daughter only heard a slap, but police Lt. Bruce Whiteley insists it was the amorous crying that alarmed the girl, who was arrested Tuesday night along with her three friends. Swanson says the teens never gave him a chance to explain, and tells AP, "What if they fight someone else and those guys don't walk away? What if they kill somebody? Then they're going to spend the rest of their lives in jail. These kids need to learn." Yeah, they need to learn a lot of things. Kids grow up so slow these days!