Here's some advice: If you're going to steal an iPhone 5 by shoving it up your butt, turn the ringer off first. Trent Patterson, 47, could have used this information yesterday when he was busted by the phone's owner, who used a locating app to track the device, the Post reports.

But how did the owner hear the ring? So glad you asked! Patterson was already being held at the Sixth Precinct station house for allegedly burglarizing the upscale Ted Baker clothing store in the Meatpacking District. The man whose phone had been swiped happened to be in the station house at the time, reporting his lost phone. He gave it a call, you know, just in case, and lo and behold, "heard the ring coming from Patterson in a nearby cell."

Patterson has been charged with criminal possession of stolen property, and the victim will probably never be able to bring himself to use his pricey phone again.