There are lots of hoity-toity luxury buildings, especially in Manhattan, that ban dogs, probably because the building owners had miserable childhoods. Hovering just below those happiness-free condos are the weird in-between buildings that try to have their cake and eat it, usually via contradictory pet regulations. A new luxury building on the Upper West Side has become the latest to join that illustrious crowd.

West Side Rag reported this week that Hawthorne Park, located at 160 West 62nd Street overlooking Lincoln Center, has banned dogs over 15 pounds from the premises—but only for the stated reason that they don't want any puppies touching the ground of their precious marble lobby. Yes, the building has reportedly made it a rule that every dog has to be carried by its owner into the elevator.

"They’re concerned the dogs are going to urinate or pass stool, so I think that’s their excuse," renter Joe Ventel told the Post about the building, a 339-unit residency where one-bedrooms start at $5,000 a month. "I thought it was silly. Usually the dogs are well-trained, especially the small dogs." The lease only specifies that a dog must be under 15 pounds—but you will be yelled at if your Lily, Daisy or Fozzie dare fall prey to gravity.

Hawthorne Park isn't just particular about where and how a pet may touch its hallowed grounds—they also apparently don't want residents' plants urinating or passing stools. "I had a plant in the hallway for two minutes and was told it was an obstruction," one non-dog-owning resident griped.

Anyway, even if you can micro-manage where a curious doggy puts its paws down, you can't control whether or not they turn on the stove and accidentally burn down the building.