Long Island, please don't ever change: You give us brawling moms, suburban jet-skiers, and Lindsay Lohan—and ask so little in return. Well, you'd like to secede, but we're never gonna let that happen. Because you make us look so smart. Take Lake Ronkonkoma resident Mary Purcell, who has allegedly followed in the footsteps of such genius bomb threat masterminds Rajiv Pandey (the gentleman who allegedly called in a bomb threat to the Long Island Power Authority... in an attempt to get his power turned back on). Purcell's scheme was similar—worried about her mother and brother flying the day before 9/11, she says she called in a bomb threat to get the flight grounded.

Margaret Meyer and her son William were scheduled to fly out of Tuscon Saturday on Southwest Airlines Flight 2475. But before the plane could take off, the airport received two calls from a woman claiming she'd overheard her boyfriend discussing a bomb plot against Flight 2475. The woman urged the airport to not to let the flight depart, warning authorities that there was a bomb on board. Her plan was a real Swiss watch: security swarmed the plane, removed all the luggage, searched every nook and cranny with a K-9 team, and, according to the FBI complaint, "passengers were double-screened, the hand luggage was rechecked and swabbed for explosives, with negative results." Oh, and the entire Tuscon airport was put on a heightened security alert.

In the end, no bombs were found, and the flight took off 15 minutes after its scheduled departure time—and 15 minutes closer to 9/11, which is exactly what Purcell was trying to avoid. Meanwhile, the FBI traced Purcell's call back to her. After repeated FBI questioning, Purcell admitted she made the bomb threats "because she did not want her mother and brother flying around the anniversary of the Sept. 11th terrorists attacks," according to court records obtained by Newsday. She faces up to ten years in prison for making the fake bomb threat.