It's already been established that bike lanes are killing your father and turning your children into fixed-gear riding meth addicts, but did you know they're also being used by terrorists as the next tool in the war against the infidels? Laugh away, sheeple; CBS 2's Marcia Kramer—who previously exposed the threats posed by Prospect Park West bike lane—knows better. Yesterday she raced up to Turtle Bay to, uh, report on the forthcoming bike lane extensions on First and Second Avenue, from 34th Street to 59th. And where some see a "safety" improvement, Kramer sees a hotbed of militant extremism.
"A Second Avenue bike lane is next to the Israeli Consulate," Kramer warns. "Imagine if the man on the bike was a terrorist!" The copy on the CBS 2 website phrases it slightly differently: "A Second Avenue bike lane is next to the Israeli consulate, leaving many wondering what would happen if a man on a bike were a terrorist." Many indeed! How many? Surely too many to count, but we're guessing they can all be found inside Kramer's head.
But Kramer's not the only one who sees the danger—the vice president of the Turtle Bay Association, Bruce Silberblatt, says the bike lane makes no sense in neighborhood because "anybody trying to ride a bike is taking their life in their hands. It’s that dangerous." In other words, the streets are simply too unsafe to make safety improvements.
After a DOT spokesperson tells Kramer that roughly 10% of street traffic is comprised of cyclists on streets with bike lanes, she ends the segment with another bit of editorializing presented as reportage: "Opponents might argue that the 90 percent who use cars and buses should rule the road, especially in an area with such high levels of congestion." Yes, "they" might argue, but Streetsblog points out that "if you actually gave 10 percent of NYC street space to cyclists, you’d have to build a lot more bike lanes." Oh, those radical bike lobbyists—always using those "facts" to prove anything that's even remotely true!