[UPDATES BELOW] The Long Island Railroad is experiencinga shitstorm of epic proportions technical difficulties this morning due to what the Office of Emergency Management describes as "signal trouble" east of the East River Tunnels, caused by a power outage. LIRR service was suspended in and out of Penn Station this morning at about 7:45. Trains are being diverted to the Atlantic Terminal in Brooklyn or straight-up canceled in Jamaica, Queens or simply set on fire to put the whole goddamn joke of a system out of its misery.

The GOOD NEWS is that the MTA will cross-honor LIRR fares on the E, 7, and 2/3 subway lines. The BAD NEWS is that everyone from Long Island who got shafted by the LIRR is now flooding the subway system. NYC residents are encouraged to use this as an opportunity to get to know their exotic neighbors from the east.

Update: Nope.

This is why you relocate #commuting #commutingsucks #lirr #poweroutage #again

A photo posted by Daiquiri Daddy (@daiquiridaddy) on

Update: An MTA spokesman adds a dash of detail: "LIRR suspended service into and out of Penn Station as of 7:42 a.m. because of a signal problem east of the East River tunnels. Earlier trains had been experiencing delays of up to 60 minutes."

Turn that frown upside down and listen to the pearls of wisdom bestowed by @cap727. It's Hump Day, y'all.

We'll get through this. Or we won't. But at least our fears of dying alone won't come to fruition.

Update 9:20 a.m.: The MTA just issued this statement: "The LIRR is in the process of restoring service into and out of Penn Station. There will be limited shuttle service operating in 15-minute intervals between Jamaica and Penn, and in 30-minute intervals for Forest Hills, Kew Gardens, and Woodside stations. Limited Port Washington Branch service is also restored in both directions at this time."

If you found this commute frustrating, tell your state representatives and Governor Cuomo to stop robbing the MTA of badly needed funding and figure out a way to come up with more cash for a 21st Century transit system.