Mayor Bill de Blasio has promised to put an end to New York City's horse and carriage industry now that he's in office, siding with critics of the industry that charge the horses are forced to work long hours, squeeze into squalid living conditions, and navigate a dangerous traffic-congested environment. But there's one Northern Irish actor with a particular skill set; skills he has acquired over a very long career of making cinema about board games and sex researchers. Skills that make him a nightmare for people who want to ban horse carriages. That would be Mr. Liam Neesons, of course.

Neeson has been a very passionate and outspoken advocate of carriage horses in NYC for years, to the point that he has even claimed he would live in their stables if he could, if only society could accept Liam Neeson living in a horse stable. But in the meantime, Neeson is calling NY Post catlady-in-residence Andrea Peyser up to coo in her ear about glue factories: “They’ll die, you know, darlin,’ ” Neeson allegedly said to Peyser in a real conversation they allegedly had with one another. “It’s criminal! This is an iconic, historic part of New York."

“The horses are incredibly well-treated. They’re regulated up the wazoo. They get five weeks’ holiday every year," Neeson continued, assuming Neeson really did call Peyser, and this wasn't just one of those things where Peyser fell asleep while watching Darkman. “Someone is going to take the horses in? To adopt the horses? Are they crazy? I don’t think so! They’ll go to the glue factory’’

Peyser has a hard time containing her glee over Neeson: she refers to him as a "Hollywood badass," calls him a "61-year-old heartthrob," says he has a "gorgeous Northern Irish brogue," and declares "the “Schindler’s List’’ and “Love, Actually’’ star may be the last true Hollywood he-man." Neeson is no "girly-boy," but rather a tough guy who doesn't live in NYC but counts carriage drivers among his closest friends and PETA is a bunch of evil sissies and only real men have the courage to love horses like men and Alec Baldwin is a nitwit and "The Taken" 1, 2 and 3 are really great movies about killing Europeans and ...what?

Forget it Jake, it's Peysertown.