Breaking: There Are Sharks in the Water. Even OUR water. Let's revise. Breaking: Sharks Live In The Water, Even On Long Island, Where Wealthy People Swim.
Tobay Beach was evacuated this afternoon after lifeguards spotted not one, but TWO sharks swimming near the coastline. Around 2,000 people were present at the beach when the 5-foot-long aquatic beast was seen in its natural habitat.
Last week, a Great White was shoved back into the water after finding itself beached on the sands of Cape Cod. WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?! (Nothing. This is normal.)
Shark witness survivor John Del Signore recalls firsthand the terror of seeing a shark, caught by a fisherman at Fair Harbor last weekend, only to be pushed back by is captor: "The crowd of people gathered on the beach cheered when the fisherman was able to pull the hook out of the shark and send it back into the sea," he wrote. " I just thought, 'You fools.' I was also hurt no one laughed when I yelled, 'Is anyone here a marine biologist?'"
Del Signore's advice? When you see a shark, remain calm, and remember to chuckle politely at the '90s era TV references made by any bloggers present. They are only trying to help.