It's not bribery, it's just selling information! The lawyer of the man accused of shaking down David Letterman for $2 million claims, the Post reports, that "his client simply had valuable information and wanted to get paid for it - just as many of the women involved in the Woods sex scandal have been." In other words, does that mean Robert "Joe" Halderman, the former CBS News producer, wishes he had an affair with Tiger Woods instead?

Halderman allegedly demanded $2 million from the talk show host to keep Letterman's flings with former intern Stephanie Birkitt and other staffers quiet. Lawyer Gerald Shargel, who previously claimed that his client was just selling a screenplay and wanted a book deal, wrote in his filing, "Their behavior was capitalist, not criminal. [The] reality is that evidence of celebrity misdeeds has a significant fair market value." He cited rumors that Woods' alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel received $5 million in hush money from Woods, "No criminal charges have been filed against Uchitel, for extortion or any other crime."

As for his own client, Shargel says he simply "offered to sell his very marketable story to David Letterman. If Letterman refused, Halderman would move on and sell his story to someone else, for fair market value. There was no threat beyond that. As a result, no crime was committed."