Former Mets star Lenny Dykstra has been a headline in the past few years, thanks for allegedly naked interviews, a predatory lending lawsuit (he's the victim), and some debt and divorce problems. Now, as he faces bankruptcy fraud charges, Dykstra has written a column for the NY Post in a style that can only be described as "Charlie Sheen, #winning era": "I told them, 'If you are trying to kill me, then you better put a bullet in my head because I am not backing down. Torture me all you want, I am stronger than you will ever know.' So, they kept going, almost like the movies, except this was a real, living nightmare!' Over the last two years, they have basically stolen everything from me -- my family, my kids, my homes, my cars, my businesses, my reputation, my money, my life. But what they can never steal is my HEART and my FIGHT -- and at the end of the day, I will win and I will win big!"

The column actually starts out with, "You need to buckle your seat belts, because what you are about to read could not be made up. What I have somehow lived through the past 2½ years, and continue to live through now, makes me fully understand that God would never make someone endure what I have endured unless there was a reason for it," and he also makes sure to shore up his business cred:

To begin with, I had $100 million in assets when I filed my Chapter 11. It is also important for you to know that I did not get stupid overnight. I didn't make bad investments; every company that I have ever created or owned was and still is a winning company. And I sure as hell was not going to get on my knees, put my hands behind my head, and let this corrupt group of people masquerading as attorneys execute me -- as that is what bankruptcy is all about. Just because they do this to everyone else does not mean I was going to let them do it to me. The corrupt world of bankruptcy is best described as "the death chamber."

Whatever: He can't get his $150,000 bail reduced, so keep raging against the machine, Nails!