A janitor at this year's US Open has been charged with swiping two laptops from the SmashZone "fan interactive," and a search warrant of his apartment in Corona, Queens yielded a half-ounce of crack cocaine, marijuana, a loaded 9mm handgun, and three other laptops that were reported stolen from the US Open last year. Yet another salient lesson in quitting while you're ahead.

According to a release from the Queens DA's office [pdf], 45-year-old Kenneth O'Quinn was caught on surveillance tape concealing a backpack while leaving the SmashZone. When questioned later by police, he admitted to taking the computers. O'Quinn faces 15 years in prison if convicted. With all its savage grunting, and now this tragedy, tennis truly has become a bloodsport. No word on whether the USTA will force the accused janitor to become a line judge at Serena Williams' next match.