This weekend I will be hunting for an apartment for my baby sister in D.C., a city in which public transportation pretty much gives up from Friday to Monday since everyone's too blackout drunk from brunch to take the Metro, anyway. For the rest of you, though, weekend train travel looks pretty straightforward, save for a few unpleasant changes. Screw you guys. I will have an awesome time in Our Nation's Capital.

Here's what's on tap this weekend:

4 trains will run express from 125 St to Grand Central-42 St on the downtown track, with those changes in effect from 11:45 p.m. Friday to 6 a.m. Saturday, from 11:45 p.m. Saturday to 8 a.m. Sunday, and from 11:45 p.m. Sunday to 5 a.m. Monday.

6 trains will run express from 125 St to Grand Central-42 St on the downtown track, with those changes in effect from 11:45 p.m. Friday to 6 a.m. Saturday, from 11:45 p.m. Saturday to 8 a.m. Sunday, and from 11:45 p.m. Sunday to 5 a.m. Monday.

Coney Island-bound F trains will run express from Jay St-MetroTech to 4 Av-9 St starting at 11:45 p.m. on Friday and ending at 8 p.m. on Saturday. Jamaica-bound trains skip 169 St during that period.

There is no G train service between Church Av and Hoyt-Schermerhorn Sts starting at 11:30 p.m. on Friday and ending at 8 p.m. on Saturday.

L trains operate in two sections: between 8 Av and Broadway Junction, and between Broadway Junction and Rockaway Pkwy every 24 minutes. That change is in effect from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Saturday.

Astoria-bound N trains will run along the Q line between DeKalb Ave and Canal St, starting at 11:45 p.m. Friday and ending at 6 a.m. Saturday.

71 Av-bound R trains will run along the Q line between DeKalb Ave and Canal St, starting at 6 a.m. and ending at 8 p.m. Saturday.