The thousands, possibly millions, of hours of spent on wondering where LeBron James will play this coming season will finally be over at 9 p.m. during his one-hour ESPN special (sponsored by Bing, Nike, etc.), The Decision. On his website, his management explains, "Due to the unprecedented attention and interest surrounding LeBron's decision, we have decided to make this announcement on national television. By doing so we have generated funds that will be given to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. LeBron has a longstanding commitment to giving back to the community, and has worked with the Boys and Girls Clubs in cities across the country."
The special will be filmed at the Boys and Girls Club in Greenwich, CT. Now, some suggested that the "suburb of NYC" locale signaled that the Knicks were frontrunners, but James may have opted for the location because he's in town for the wedding of Denver Nuggets star Carmelo Anthony and MTV personality Lala Vazquez. And now—at this moment—sources say that he's heading to Miami, to form a power trio with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh.
The Daily News's Filip Bondy writes, "Don't come here Thursday if it is just to make fools of all of us. Don't spit all over our red carpet Thursday night on your one-hour, nationally televised talk show.... Don't come to our suburban backyard, Greenwich, after at least two interviews with the Knicks and a lot of second-hand leaks, only to declare you want nothing to do with Eighth Avenue and want to take the easy route, playing alongside Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami. Or that you suddenly have rediscovered your love of Ohio."
In the meantime, for all of you wondering why there's all this fuss over a player who hasn't won a championship yet, enjoy this fake Twitter account, LeBronJamesEgo: "MANY RUMORS, BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS: I MADE A NEW SNACK CALLED LBJ POWER, YOU EAT PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY ON BREAD TOGETHER IT'S CRAZY" and "GOOD MORNING EVERYONE TODAY IS THE BIG DAY. CHECK MY WEBSITE FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT WHICH POP TART IS THE BEST."