A Manhattan judge has given a definitive answer to a question debated among scholars since antiquity: Is a lap dance considered art?

Succinctly, no, Administrative Law Judge Donna Gardiner said in a decision on Monday. Which means that Larry Flynt's Hustler Club is going to have to start charging sales tax on the erotic gyrations delivered by its employees, in addition to the $2.1 million in back taxes it owes from transactions made between June 2006 and November 2008.

To be fair, the decision isn't necessarily targeting strippers, since the legislature also disqualifies ice dancing performances from tax exemption, which is a shame—the authors of New York's tax code have obviously never witnessed the hypnotic effect of Evgeni Plushenko and his gold lamé crotch.

You really want to tax that?