It's been a horrible summer, one rife with tales of devastating war and plane crashes and bereft of the Carlos Danger Weiners, racist butter chef scandals and subway shacks that characterized the Julys and Augusts of yore. And Jon Stewart's not happy about it; on last night's episode of The Daily Show, he lamented Summer 2014's lack of comedic levity, in a segment titled "I Miss What We Did Last Summer."

We still have nearly two months left of summer, which, by my calculation, is plenty of time for a shark to make a snack out of a politician snapping a beachside dick pic while dressed in blackface. May the Silly Summer News Gods smile upon us at last.