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Jon "Big Mac Mormon" Huntsman Announces Presidential Bid From Liberty State Park

Jon Huntsman announcing his presidential campaign today at Liberty State Park
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Jon Huntsman announcing his presidential campaign today at Liberty State Park Getty Images

Former diplomat, high school dropout, and son of the guy who invented the Big Mac clamshells Jon Huntsman, Jr., announced his candidacy for President of Losing to Obama today at Liberty State Park. The location's backdrop of the Statue of Liberty has been used as a political prop since Ronald Reagan tussled his mane and did the ole' two-button-chest-flash announcing his campaign back in 1980. Huntsman bemoaned how far our country has fallen, and vowed, "We will not be the first American generation that lets down the next generation." Guess he's not including everyone born after the "Greatest Generation."

Huntsman, the former governor of Utah, is seen as being one of the more credible of the GOP's candidates (not including "A Republican"). He's fluent in Mandarin, enjoys riding motorcycles and bungee jumping, has 7 children, including an adopted daughter from China and another from India, and commands a vast personal fortune. He is, however, a Mormon, which automatically means that he has Chloe Sevigny waiting for him in a house somewhere outside Salt Lake City (Mitt is still pissed he got Ginnifer Goodwin).

Perhaps Huntsman's greatest obstacle is the chemical company his father founded and bears his name, Huntsman Corp., which was found to be doing millions of dollars of business in Iran. Heh heh, those billion-dollar chemical companies are such scamps. Huntsman Corp. CEO and Jon Huntsman's brother has also said that they "employ more people between China and India than we do in North America," which sounds sort of un-American except that...uh...check out these cool pictures of him on a Harley!

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