Today is February 29th, a day that doesn't really exist, so you can feel okay about spending a few minutes enjoying John Oliver's bracingly funny segment on America's next/last president Donald Trump. Oliver has done his best to ignore the overly caramelized creme brulee chia pet that is Trump, but now that the anthropomorphic moldy cheesecake slice seems poised to win the nomination, Oliver is forced to admit that Trump "is America’s back mole. It may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s become frighteningly bigger, it’s no longer wise to ignore it."
Oliver's long journey through the fetid bullshit and arrogance that fills Trump's skin-sack climaxes with his attempt to rebrand Trump, to "uncouple the magical word [‘Trump’] from the man he really is." As it turns out, the Trump family long ago changed its name from Drumpf, which Oliver is now in the process of trademarking, in an attempt to separate the truth from the myth-maker. "Drumpf is much less magical," Oliver says. "It’s the sound produced when a morbidly obese pigeon flies into the window of a foreclosed Old Navy. Drumpf: It’s the sound of a bottle of store-brand root beer falling off the shelf in a gas station minimart."
Oliver is going all the way with Drumpf, having registered a Donald J Drumpf website and selling hats at cost that declare "Make Donald Drumpf Again." There's also a new campaign anthem and a "Drumpfinator" Chrome extension that will replace the word "Trump" with "Drumpf" wherever it appears in your browser.
— Last Week Tonight (@LastWeekTonight) February 29, 2016
Just watch the whole adorable thing and keep telling yourself that surely Trump will never win. And in the words of Louis C.K., may god’s light shine on our supreme leader, Master Donald Trump.