On this week's "Last Week Tonight," John Oliver unleashed a hilariously revolting look at "the human cost of shockingly cheap clothing." Less than two percent of clothing purchased by Americans is made domestically; the rest, as we all know but simply choose not to dwell on la la la la $12 Joe Fresh sweatshirt, is made in overseas sweatshops with deplorable conditions. But those poors are so very far away, while that $4.99 H&M dress is so very close at hand—unless a more competitive shopper snags the last one in your size while you were busy worrying about where all of our crap comes from.

Looking back over the past three decades of highly-publicized labor violations by chain stores like Gap and Wal-Mart, Oliver concludes that these retailers have "lost the right to act surprised" when their systemic labor exploitation is exposed. "They're like the characters in The Hangover movies. It's not an accident the third time, boys, it's a pattern of reckless behavior that has to be addressed. One of you is going to wind up dead... probably the one who is never on the poster."

Stick around to the end of the segment, when Oliver shows off the "suspiciously cheap" lunches he's sending to the CEOs of several top retailers today. "I do not know exactly how this food was made,” Oliver explains. “I told someone, who told someone else, to get the most food they could for the cheapest price. I do have strict policies in place: I told them not to spit on that food, and not to rub their balls on that food. And I've trusted them to abide by that."