One of the men reportedly zapped by 59-year-old Larry McKelvey's stun gun at last Sunday's Jets game claims that McKelvey "jabbered" during the moment of silence for 9/11 victims, and badmouthed George W. Bush, in addition to sitting during the national anthem. "It was the most disrespectful thing I have ever seen," 46-year-old Ian Cummings told the Daily News. McKelvey allegedly used his stun gun (not to ever be confused with the trademarked name of a completely DIFFERENT type of weapon that pumps electrical current into human bodies) to shock Cummings, a former Marine and a third man, before being subdued by the crowd.
"As it happens, the guy starts going, 'C'mon, let's get the game started,'" Cummings said of McKelvey's behavior during the moment of silence. "I was kinda shocked. I looked around to make sure everybody heard what I heard." He also claims that the Marine took issue before he did. "The Marine leans over and says, 'You sit during the national anthem, you fucking this and that. Don't come back this way.'" But in order for McKelvey to perhaps pick up a delicious, $5 soda, he had to leave his seat, and Cummings admits to "busting his chops" when he got up." That's when he heard the horrible stun gun noise. "It hurt, he got me in the back of the neck. I felt my body shake, and did a header right over the seats in front of me."
McKelvey's son, the Power 105.1 DJ "Charlamagne Tha God," continues to maintain, as McKelvey and his girlfriend have, that the couple wanted to stand for the anthem but couldn't for medical reasons. "My father's 59, he's got high blood pressure," the DJ says, "He did stand at first, but he got dizzy." As dizzy as Funkmaster Flex got when you totally OWNED him in this on-air diss?
Cummings, who is considering suing somebody because that's the American way, also blames lax security for his minor injuries. "I said to my friend, 'The patdown is a joke. I've been more comfortable in a crowded elevator.'" And now the NFL has announced that full-body putdowns are now mandatory at all stadiums. Thankfully, the NFL would NEVER infringe your God-given right to get totally shitfaced on $10 beers, and have skipped straight to just treating everyone like a criminal.