The Jets have many enemies—foot odor, Uggs Boots spokesmen, the anti-snacktime lobby, "Moral Fibrousness"—but none more yellow-bellied and pox-faced than Patriots coach Bill Belichick. Rex Ryan has called their grudge "personal," and Jets fans have even tried to sue the Patriots after Belichick was caught cheating several years ago.

As if we didn't have enough reason to hate the lily-livered boring-as-a-plank HC of the NEP, it's now been revealed in the screenshot above that the most intimidating coach in the NFL is also a friggin' pirate with a ribbon in his hair. Does that make Sexy Rexy a ninja?