A group of J. Crew execs paraded joyously about in their khakis last night, drinking, carousing and Instagramming mere hours after the announcement that 175 of their colleagues had been laid off. How miserably uncultivated! Just like those suede-paneled pixies pants, ugh, those are the living worst, aren't they Nina?

Alejandro Rhett, the company's VP of men's merchandising, delivered the bad news to his plebeian underlings yesterday. The Post reports that he then jetted off to Manhattan's Linen Hall bar, where he and his still-employed colleagues tagged Instagram photos of themselves as they smiled, laughed, imbibed and hopped around mirthfully. Accompanying the photos were pithy, Hunger Games-themed hashtags and one that read "#damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangster." Rhett appears to have been wearing J.Crew's 5" Stanton short in navy at the time of this hashtag.

The layoffs seem to have come on the heels of an unfortunate first-quarter earnings report that shows a loss of nearly $521 million. A single, disastrous sweater is held culpable for the demise of J.Crew.

"Experts blamed the unraveling on the spectacular failure of a new crop-top women’s sweater dubbed the Tilly, which J.Crew tried to market as 'the slightly shrunken cousin of our beloved Tippi sweater,' the tabloid says. The Tilly looks like a sweater. It looks like literally every other sweater ever manufactured by J.Crew, which is to say, dull, ill-fitting and stunningly overpriced. I would wear it if someone gave me one, or I found in a free pile.

It was probably the Tilly that compelled poor Rhett to act so boorishly in the face of overwhelming company sadness. It probably crept to him in the night, wrapping its lightweight Merino wool arms around his face as he slept. "Laugh now," it whispered into his ear. "But one day we'll be in charge."

A J.Crew spokesman told the tabloid that the company "does not condone" Rhett's behavior, and that "the appropriate actions took place." He did not clarify what those actions were.

It's unclear whether all of the country's J.Crew's will be converted to fallout shelters by the end of the week.