If you were planning on trying to look nice today—really put some effort into your Monday wardrobe selection—just stop. Run your hair under some cold water, pick something up off the floor, pre-smear your mascara down your face: You're just going to be a sweaty mess today and tomorrow and the day after that...

A heat advisory is in effect through Tuesday afternoon, with temperatures predicted to lurk in the mid-90s. According to NBC New York, Tuesday is expected to be the hottest day this week, though the inferno will likely rage through Wednesday.

The city's public pools won't be opening until Thursday, so that's neat. If you're going to take this opportunity to install your air conditioner, ask a friend or burly stranger for help—manslaughter-by-A/C is a total summer buzz kill, and Rikers isn't climate-controlled.

What else? It's legal to open up a fire hydrant, as long as you've acquired a spray cap, which anyone over 18 can fetch from a local fire house. And, of course, it is finally time to dust off the thong, The Official Garment of Summer. Don't forget the sunscreen.