You likely don't need a tersely worded warning in Courier (all caps!) from the National Weather Service telling you that It's Obscenely Hot Outside, but here it is, because why talk about anything else? The NWS has issued an updated excessive heat warning in the five boroughs until 8 p.m., noting that while temperatures will reach the mid-90s, "the combination of heat and humidity is expected to make it feel like it is 105 degrees or greater."

The NWS recommends to take extra precautions if you're going to be outside today: wear light, loose-fitting clothing (No Meggings), drink plenty of water, and find an NYC cooling center nearby. It also helps to mutter things like "Christ," "hoo boy," and "shhhhhhiiiiitttt" every few minutes.

Forecasts indicate that rain may break the spell of this unyielding heat this week, but until then we'll rely on the jaunty tunes of 1960s Malaysian psychedelic rock. We're pretty sure the NWS meant to include a link to it: