New York is full of stories of old folks losing it when faced with rambunctious young whipper-snappers. Every few months you'll hear about one opening fire or storming a school bus when they just can't take it anymore. But with a few notable exceptions, at least we don't have to deal with urine tossers. That's more for the old folks living in the wilds Pennsyltucky.

Say hello to 91-year-old Albert Einsig, who has been living in his Harrisburg home for 63 years, was recently cited by the police with "voiding of human excretion." He had grown so fed up with rowdy kids tap-tap-tapping on his front door ("They bang on the door, bang bang, to get me out of bed," he said) that he finally had enough and poured a bucket of his piss on them. Of course, a nosey Nancy next door noticed the whole thing and then called the cops on Einsig.

Einsig admits he was probably out of line and is going to pay the fee (though he doesn't know how much that is yet). But he still wishes the kids in the neighborhood would stay off his front stoop: "They'll be at it tonight," he told a local reporter yesterday. "They'll be here beating it."

Kind of amazing that when a harassed nonagenarian in Pennsylvania throws urine he gets written up...yet as far as we know nobody ever got in trouble for that bucket of piss thrown onto diners at SoHo's Delicatessen.