Connecticut: the land of amazing pizza, dancing beluga whales, and the occasional terrifying religious death cult. Now that it's legal to drink in every town, it's a real big boy state with lots of unique places to visit. And that includes the house above, which is now on sale for a measly $340K.

The home, located at 24 Brentwood Drive in Avon, has five bedrooms, four bathrooms, and a "unique one of a kind finishing completed by a professional!" Whether it is the ugliest house you've ever seen or just the kookiest, it will challenge your assumptions about what cabinets should look like, and may just make you reconsider or reaffirm all of the aesthetic choices you've made in your life.

We have so many questions: how long has it looked like this? Who lived here before? How many bodies have been sewn into the walls? Is this the exact midway point between Gilmore Girls and Grey Gardens? Has David Lynch gotten into decorating along with transcendental meditation? Why are there random bits of rug randomly nailed into the floor? How many people have been driven insane in that attic space? And why can't I look at the photos while listening to extremely jazzy music to offset the deep creepiness (oh wait, you can here!).

Look, you could use your hard-earned money on a lighthouse, or an abandoned town, or even a Greek island, and it would be a steal next to most NYC real estate prices. But wouldn't you rather be living in a kitsch paradise that you could rent out to Ryan Murphy for the next season of American Horror Story?

(h/t Death and Taxes)