Over the weekend, the Daily News had a story with the following lede: "Famed as a hotbed of debate over academic freedom, New York's most elite school is also a playpen for sexual hijinks, sophomoric antics and the wacky indulgences of the children of the rich." Ooh, we wondered if it would be about Dalton or some other fancy prep school. But then we took into account the "academic freedom" part and realized, uh, it's about Columbia.
There were the reporter's saucy details of a female student voluntarily being "flogged...repeatedly with leather whips, rubber hoses" and a quote from the Columbia Spectator's sex columnist, Miriam Datskovsky: "Having sex in the stacks of Butler Library is one of the ultimate Columbia experiences."
And then there were ways to rile up less prudish readers:
Consider the party scene. But it's no reason to get dressed up. In fact, there's no reason to get dressed at all: The merrymakers of Morningside Heights host naked parties, lingerie-only parties - and the more bourgeois "clothing-optional parties with naked rooms."
And taxpayers indirectly foot a chunk of the tab because bond offerings and loans from the state Dormitory Authority and federal Department of Education partially fund the renovation of dorms where naked frolickers muster.
Not our tax dollars! Luckily, Ivy Gate had some reassuring comments from current Columbia students about how often Columbia students get laid:
- once every six months. columbia is a rough world for single people."
- "the average in the engineering school is probably like once a semester"
- "i would say within the first week of a new class, then consistently for 3 weeks, then it would get ugly"
- "either I missed out or everyone else in college isn't having sex at all."
- "i can't make a funny comment about it at the moment...i'm too tired. watching 5 episodes of veronica mars in a row has exhausted me"
- "Random hook-ups do happen, but it is probably rare for most students. At night people just go back to their rooms and finish their homework or maybe heat up a hot pocket"
Disclosure: Our idea of a Friday night was watching The X-Files and Homicide. Sigh, those were the days.