If you haven't spent the past 36 hours fighting with the IOS 7 upgrade and blaspheming the very memory of Steve Jobs (STOP MAKING ME DELETE ALL MY INSTAGRAM PHOTOS JUST LET ME DOWNLOAD YOU, DAMMIT), you may have noticed a few Lines To Eat All Other Lines snaking their way through the city this morning. It appears the two newest iPhone incarnations have arrived in stores, and so, like moths to a $200 flame, the tech-savvy have once again descended upon Apple Stores all over, and a massive line in SoHo is spreading dangerously close to the ever-terrifying Cronut line outside Dominique Ansel Bakery.

Fortuitously, researchers over at Quartz.com say the two lines have not yet met —the iPhone line was about 250 meters long at 9 a.m. this morning, while the Cronut line measured in at a paltry 130 meters, preserving the delicate Space-Time Line Continuum for at least another day. But still, the fear is real:

Naturally, these monstrous lines aren't limited to SoHo. A tipster sent us this video of the line outside the Apple flagship store on Fifth Avenue at 7:45 a.m. this morning. The SEVEN MINUTE-long clip shows the line for iPhones 5S and 5c—the latter a discounted version of the phone—stretching east from 58th and Fifth to Madison Ave, then up 59th Street before heading West back around to Fifth.

Looks like a fun crowd! The tipster tells us there were 1,400 people in line when he left around 9 a.m., and it appears a few of them had been hanging out there for a while; according to the Post, the first person to get his hands on the 5S waited in line for two weeks, presumably surviving solely off the blood and bones of the small children exiting neighboring FAO Schwartz.

And they've even made it past the confines of Manhattan:

Do not look directly into the Line, lest the beast grab you and swallow you whole.