The NYPD is seeking the public's assistance in tracking down a 7-month-old boy who was allegedly kidnapped by his biological mother—as you know all too well if your phone exploded in an alarming vibrational distress earthquake just before 4 a.m. today. Police are still searching for the mother and her kidnapped child, who were last seen in a 1995 tan Lexus ES300, NY license plate GEX1377. Meanwhile, you may be wondering how to disable these sorts of notifications.

071713screenshot.jpgWell, it's easy enough on an iPhone: go to Settings->Notifications and scroll down to government alerts. There you can easily opt out of the Amber Alert notifications (maybe don't mention this to friends of yours who have kids). You can also opt out of the government's emergency disaster alerts if you'd prefer to sleep through the next Attack Of The Mutant Machete-Wielding Bedbug Rats Who Blast Black Eyed Peas As They Slowly Dismember Their Prey.

If you have an Android, as I do, your notification system may vary. On some Android devices, the notifications can be disabled through the text message settings. My alerts come through an "Emergency Alerts" app, which took me "forever" to find this morning, but what else was I going to do at 4 a.m.—return to that elaborate sledding route I'd hand-shoveled in the winter wonderland of my dreams that was shattered when my phone went to DEFCON 4? Yeah, I guess I could have gone to Harlem and looked for that Lexus...

Police say Marina Lopez, 25, snatched her son during a supervised visit at an Administration for Children’s Services-operated facility in Harlem yesterday afternoon. It's unclear why the notification was sent just before 4 a.m., but it may be because police didn't initially have a description of the vehicle until then. Or maybe they just wanted to fuck with you and send you into a guilt spiral for complaining about a kidnapping disturbing your precious slumbers.

Lopez is described as 5'7", 130 pounds, and was last seen wearing a pink T-shirt and floral print shorts. Her son Mario Jr., age 7 months, was last seen wearing a grey T-shirt and black shorts.

UPDATE: Police say the boy has been found unharmed and his mother is in custody.