Walking down Broadway already involves flailing your machete through a thicket of Uniqlo bags, but the Bloomberg administration says we can do better. Last year New York City had a record 52 million tourists who spent $36.9 billion and generated a $55.3 billion in revenue. Yet for the first three weeks of 2013, hotel room occupancy has increased by 11%, making the $70 billion goal for 2015 seem easier than giving a Dutch family directions to the Tenement Museum. “We will be relentless in our efforts to increase visitation to our city,” George Fertitta, the CEO of NYC & Company told the Times as he feverishly scribbled notes for a new Broadway muscial, Wicked 2: Just Dump Your Money Into This Burlap Bag Shaped Like A Witch's Hat.

Specifically the city is targeting tourists from Brazil, Australia, and China, who are three of the fastest-growing sectors of visitors to New York. "They love to shop," NYC & Company's senior VP said of Brazilian tourists. "Just ask any retailer who has hired Portugese-speaking staff."

Visits from Australians rose by 5% from 2011, to 550,000, and they stayed on average for more than eight days. One-third of all visitors to America stopped in New York, a number that's expected to stay the same so long as stay the hell away from Guy Fieri's oysters.